Discomfort with choosing sides

As we approach this pivotal Tuesday that will determine our nation’s next leader and shape Congress, I find myself wrestling with discomfort and a sense of internal conflict. Over the past year, I’ve noticed my perspective shifting; while I still consider myself a centrist or moderate, recent events have nudged me closer to the right. Following the October 7th attacks and observing the world's varied responses, I feel a growing distance from the left’s approach. This shift has taken me by surprise. For years, I’ve held the de facto liberal stance in family debates—debates that have sometimes left lingering tension. But since Trump’s election, I chose to step back, prioritizing family relationships over divisive politics. Yet now, I'm facing the unexpected reality of feeling distanced from the progressive ideals I once aligned with.

This shift doesn’t mean I support Donald Trump or the figures in his circle. My views on that front remain unchanged—I’m unable to reconcile his actions and rhetoric with my own values. But on certain issues, especially regarding the Middle East, I find myself increasingly in agreement with moderate or even conservative viewpoints.

Historically, I’ve viewed the conservative perspective as slow to adapt and often on the wrong side of pivotal issues. Take the abolition of slavery, where the conservative stance was generally one of cautious resistance, advocating for gradual emancipation and prioritizing states’ rights over federal mandates. The same was true of women’s suffrage; conservatives were wary of disrupting traditional gender roles and family structures. The conservative position toward entering World War II was also largely isolationist, guided by an “America First” mindset and reluctance to become entangled in foreign conflicts. Similarly, during the Civil Rights Movement, many conservatives preferred gradual change within existing systems, emphasizing order and states’ rights over sweeping federal reforms. And, during the Iraq and Afghanistan invasions, the conservative view leaned heavily toward national security and stabilizing global threats, aligning with an interventionist approach post-9/11.

There’s a consistent theme in these conservative positions: a resistance to change and a priority on stability, even when such caution delayed progress. Progressive perspectives, by contrast, have often pushed for rapid change to address injustices—even at the risk of disrupting the social order. Reading through these historical positions, I wonder where I would have stood if I’d lived through those moments. I once thought of myself as progressive, but given today’s polarizing landscape and the recent rhetoric I see from the left regarding the Israel-Palestine conflict, I feel more aligned with a conservative stance on certain issues.

Our two-party system forces a binary choice between two flawed options, making voting difficult. I find myself unable to fully back either side; both seem inadequate, leaving me weighing what feels like the lesser of two evils. While Trump remains a non-option for me, I also struggle with full enthusiasm for the progressive candidates. I admire friends canvassing and rallying with fervor, but I don’t share that certainty.

Despite this ambivalence, I hold hope that this period of introspection may lead to greater clarity—not just for myself, but for others who feel similarly unanchored. Perhaps, as more of us reflect, question, and seek common ground, we can advocate for a future where we’re no longer forced to choose between two imperfect sides, but instead work toward a political landscape rooted in shared values and genuine progress.

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